When we feel that things are against us and there is no way out, we tend to be very close to situations that are worrying us and we do not look at the big picture. Any thing looked at closely in isolation to the complete picture, can be made to look terrible, because the other governing factors are not included.

To understand what has happened to bring us to this place of confusion and doubt, we have to go back to the very beginning, when we drew our first breath. At that point we had everything programmed into us for a successful and fulfilling life.Unfortunately our parents, our relatives and our teachers all in an effort to help and protect us, have told us what we cannot do. We have been told we cannot or do not desreve to do certain things so that we do not attempt to do them and get disappointed when we fail.

Being protected from failure is possibly the worst thing that can happen to you as the stepping stones to success are your failures. We have been programmed not to attempt things and also, because of that there is a sort of increased fear of failure.

I suppose this is a funny thing to say considering that I am writing this book to help you, but the biggest problem that we have in trying to sort out our self esteem, is the myriad of books on the various topics of self development. It is not the books that are wrong, it is us. We keep buying the latest book on how success will come the minute you close the cover etc, and then when we find that does not work we go onto the next one, eventually our mind switches off and we then read these books, but do not even take in the contents, we almost buy them expecting them not to fulfill their promise.

What we have to do is to reprogramme how we use our brain, and we have to realise what the barriers and hurdles are. Once we know how to use all the information we have and accept the fact that we need to take on a bit more information, things suddenly change. We are at this point in time the product of what we know and believe about ourselves, unless we reprogramme and replace our limiting beliefs with updated information, the barrier to us getting to like ourself more will remain.

I find that a major problem is coping with who we present to the outside world and who we actually are. This was illustrated to me when I was talking to a client the other day. He had been very successful in a certain field and had many years ago left the corporate jungle to try and make a go of things on his own. After many years he admitted that although the outward persona portrayed one of success and affluence the real person inside, was far from happy with the results he was achieving.

This is a classic situation where you limit your movements and actions, because you do not change the person you are presenting, to match the person you are. In effect you have this new business person inside who needs all the help and assistance he can get, yet you are still presenting a successful person on the outside. The conflict here is obvious, the person you are portraying from your previous life, does not[or at least thinks it does not] need any assistance in the area that you are seeking advice, and therefore you feel uncomfortable asking the questions because subconsciously you feel a failure.

This is not such a problem when you create an image on the way up because you are always subconsciously presenting messsages that are in agreement with how you feel about yourself. There are obviously dangers here though, because in some cases, you get a higher opinion of yourself, in the outside persona and once again you have a conflict.The real you does not readily accept the situations and actions that the outside you performs. That is when you become a bit of a show off or start bragging about who you are or what you have.

As you can see self esteem is so important and I believe that low self esteem and high self esteem are both equally harmful. Low self esteem will stop you doing things and high self esteem allows you to do things that you possibly should not. Some where slap bang in the middle is perfect and then you have a little movement either way that can be absorbed with out too much trouble.

It is important that we balance the person we present to the outside world, and the person we really are. Once we have done that things really start to change.

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